Helping my Teen with Exams
Exams are stressful for everyone. You can expect to feel frustrated, and confused, even overwhelmed, as your teen goes through exams. You may be experiencing very similar emotions to them. If you’re having a constant battle with your teens, here’s what to do.
How to Help Teens Form Rules that Make Sense to them
Teenage behaviour often leads to conflict and misunderstanding with parents. Teens tend to break rules to separate from parents.
One of our jobs as parents is to help teens form rules which make sense to them. Encourage teens to be adult and responsible even when they regress and act younger than their age.
What are the Tasks of Teens?
Being a teenager is a busy time, not only are they coming to the end of their school years, they are:
- · establishing a sense of identity
- · separating emotionally from family
- · establishing their sexuality
- · getting a sense of increased competence in the world
The exam process, if handled well, can be a good way for teens to feel more prepared to feel independent and capable in the world.
How can Parents Help?
· Confront unacceptable behaviour. This helps teens to behave in ways that encourage freedom and responsibility. For example, “You have a test on Monday and you want to go out tonight. How are you going to make sure you feel rested enough to study?
· Maintain a balance. We can veer between being neglectful and not caring what they need and being overly rigid and controlling. Much as we may feel rejected, our teenage kids still need us to be there for them, but how. For example, having regular times, such as meal times or when doing the washing up together, when you can talk can prove helpful
· Encourage problem solving, so they can thrive independently in the world. For example, the school called to say you had been late 3 times this week. Being on time is important at school and at work. What measures can you put in place to make sure you are up and out in good time?”