Relationship Counselling, the First Session

Relationship Counselling the first session

Relationship Counselling, The First Session.

You’ve got in touch and set up an appointment. What’s next? I ask to think about the following questions?

  • Often there are common themes in a coup These questions will help to show common themes and patterns in your relationship. Answer as fully as you can, as this self-reflection makes therapy more effective.  
  • They aim to start you thinking about your memories and power play in your family dynamics. This is because what we experience in our family of origin often gets unconsciously replayed in our later relationships.  
  • Once you become aware of doing something, you then gain greater insights and feel more empowered to change it.  
  • Areas such as family secrets, outward appearances and family roles help you compare how your family really was, as opposed as to the way others viewed it. 
  • Going back in time and thinking of what you might change helps you use your imagination to play with ideas and insights into what might still be beneficial. 
1.     What’s your first memory in your family?




2.     Who are the people that make up your family?



3.     Who did you like the most?



4.     Who did you like the least?



5.     Who were you closest to, growing up?



6.     Who was the person you feared?



7.     Who in your family had the most power?



8.     How did this person use his/her power?



9.     What person ‘owned’ you emotionally?



10. What was the nature of this emotional attachment?



11. What family secrets did everyone know, but no one was allowed to openly discuss?




12. How did your family try to appear to the outside world?



13. How do you think your family was actually viewed by the outside world?



14. What role did each person in your family play?



15. How would you describe the way your family functioned as a group?



16. Suppose you could turn back time and reshape the past. What changes would you make to your family, its members and how they got along?


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