What Do I Talk About?
In therapy you have similar conversations to those you might normally have, only you are the focus and what you say won’t get back to anyone else. People often rely on friends to give an objective opinion and they do the best they can. The truth is, they will have an opinion, they care about you, they want what’s best. This may mean they guide you in ways that suit them.
I feel guilty when I talk about others, is that OK?
Clients often feel guilty about betraying another’s trust or putting them down in some way. It’s a natural human instinct to feel protective towards those we love. Perhaps things aren’t going so well in your relationship, but your partner won’t come to couples counselling. You feel a sense of shame and struggle to understand it.
However, if things don’t get talked about, it leads to the ‘mum effect,’ where issues get buried and problems get worse. Often we bury things for years, yet they continue to affect us through stress, anxiety and illness. This is not about gossiping about others, it is working to improve your relationship with yourself and others.
When I listen to you, you have my undivided attention, no phones, no internet no children or partners to come in and cut across your thoughts. So you may want to talk about how hard it is to take up that space when you get it.
What if I feel out of my depth?
This may be the first time ever in your life that you have had this opportunity, and that can be daunting. So I will guide you and ensure that you are taking things at your own pace.
For example, I might ask you to look out for signals in your body and breathing that you are uncomfortable. Often we tune out to ourselves, counselling is a chance to tune in and feel more connected with yourself and others.
Most importantly, therapy needs to work well for you.